Fall, from the series
by Richard G. Mills
Those Autumn
Leaves...
Vrroommm-vrroommm!
My first house of my own. My first autumn
with my own lawn. I tried raking the leaves. And "Boy," I
thought to myself, "this could get boring real fast!"
Now, I didn't go out and buy the most
expensive one I could find. I didn't even buy the brand name that is
practically a synonym for suburban lawn. And I not only comparison shopped by
reading the claims on the boxes (why does one use r.p.m.s, while the other
talks horsepower?), I even asked the salesperson for additional information.
(She got out the book with the product info; it had the claims printed on the
box. But, at least, I tried!) And, yes, I bought myself a leaf blower/vacuum.
Actually, I've never quite understood the
concept of the leaf/driveway/whatever blower. Where is this stuff supposed
to be blown? -- Into the street for passing cars to whip it back? Into your
neighbor's yard? And haven't they heard of the wind? -- Isn't it all going to
blow right back no matter where you blow it?
But the leaf vacuum, now that's another
story! Not only are you saving the back-breaking and often frustrating task
of raking leaves into little piles and stuffing them into plastic bags, you're
actually mulching the leaves and recycling them over your bulbs and
other perennials! And, besides..., it's fun! Why is it that adding a motor
to a task makes it more enjoyable?
So here I stand, leaf vacuum in my hands,
leaf bag strapped over by back, sweeping up my leaves. Vrroommm-vrroommm!
Of course, a leaf vacuum may not be the
perfect tool for a latent perfectionist like myself. A sweep to the left, a
sweep to the right; time to take a step forward, but wait! I missed a leaf!
A sweep to the left, a sweep to the right; time to... but wait! Where'd that
leaf behind me come from? A sweep to the left, a sweep to the right; time to
take a step forward. Is this really accomplishing anything?
But then, in not too much time, I notice my
leaf bag is half full! A sweep to the left, a sweep to the right; time to...
A sweep to the left, a sweep to the right; time to... A sweep to the left,
a.... Am I really getting anywhere? I look behind me, and sure enough! --
The ground I've covered is almost completely leaf-free! You can see the path
I've made in my otherwise leaf-covered lawn! I am getting somewhere!
A sweep to the left, a sweep to the right;
a sweep to the left, a sweep to the right.... And then I stop to think what's
really going on here. It takes a major upcoming visit from friends or
relatives to get me to vacuum my house; and here I am, vacuuming my back yard!
Is anybody watching?
I take a furtive look over my shoulder, but
I notice that nice clean path I've made in my leaf-strewn lawn. A sweep to
the left, a sweep to the right. Let them look. I'm having fun! And-- I'm
getting rid of all these leaves, like a true suburbanite is supposed to do
(does anyone know why?). A sweep to the left, a sweep to the right.
Then I start to think again. How long have
I been out here, anyway? This probably is taking me longer than the raking
would have. Of course, it is more fun than that back-breaking raking.
Boy, this bag is heavy! I think it weighs a ton! The strap is sort of
cutting into my shoulder, and my back is sore. A sweep to the left; a sweep
to the right. Vrroommm-vrroommm! But it's fun!
I have half the back yard done now and
several bags of mulch dumped over my bulbs and around my trees and rose bushes.
A sweep to the left; a sweep to the right. Vrroommm- vrroommm! Sure, it may
be a little silly when you stop to analyze it -- being outside vacuuming your
back yard; but, at least I'm outdoors in the fresh air getting something
accomplished!
I take a look over my shoulder to survey
what I've accomplished. I've gone out of my way, latent perfectionist that I
am, to vacuum up every single solitary leaf in my path, and the half of the
yard I've vacuumed sure looks cleaner than the half I've yet to do, but what's
that I see? There's a leaf on my freshly vacuumed lawn. And there's another!
And another! In fact, now that I look more closely, there are a lot of
'nothers! What's happening here?
I feel a slight breeze, and I look up, and
there a solitary leaf breaks itself away from the tree and slowly circles its
way to my freshly vacuumed lawn. But the problem is, it's not so solitary.
Another puff of air, and another leaf takes the plunge. And then another leaf
vacates the tree (I guess that's why they call them "leaves"!). And
another! And it dawns on me:
Here I am, out in my back yard, vacuuming
my lawn, when I should be up in that blasted tree, vacuuming the tree!
Vrroommm-vrroommm!
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